Love Letters
by lazypadawan
Summary: Anakin and Padmé exchange letters that speak of their love and longings.


My Dearest Padmé,

Was it really six months ago to the day that we exchanged our vows? The

time has flown by so quickly yet it also seems like ages have passed since

we last saw each other. The time I spend away from you is a hell unto

itself, as though the worst days of this war aren't already enough hell to

bear. On those days, my only refuge is the place where I keep your love in

my heart. There I'm never lonely, I'm never frightened, and I'm never angry or frustrated.

I still hold fresh in my mind the too-few days we last spent together on

Naboo. What I wouldn't give to return to the fields near the retreat, where

we made love as though we had all of the time in the universe. I can still

smell the grasses and wildflowers, feel the warm sun on my back and the

beating of your heart against mine. I can still taste your sweet kisses. I

can hear you cry out my name in ecstasy as I drink the nectar from your

flower. I still tremble with pleasure at the memory of how you left me at

your complete mercy as you so tenderly plied your own magic. We were like banthas in heat all afternoon long until we collapsed from exhaustion.

There are few things as beautiful as the moment we awoke just as the sun was setting over the hills and we lay there watching it as I remained inside of you. Nothing at all was wrong with the universe then. There was nothing

but pure, utter joy.

It pains me that I cannot tell you where I am or when I'll be able to send

you another message, much less when we're able to be together again. But until then, know that every moment I live and breathe is for you.

Love always,

Anakin

My Darling Ani,

Not only must I bear the burdens of my duties but I must do so with a heart full of worry for you. I fear for your life and I fear what this conflict could do to your soul. I wish I could be there by your side; you know how much I despise war but I want to make sure that you are safe. I want to put a shield around your heart, to give you comfort in these horrible times. But I must have faith that you are strong.

Thus, even a simple brief message from you raises my spirits. Tales of your heroics have reached here on Coruscant; I'm very, very proud of you. I wish I could tell someone, "That's my husband." But I have to keep it locked away.

Only you can understand how difficult it is to hold feelings inside as I go about my daily life. Only you could appreciate what it's like to be one person to everyone else and to be another person in the arms of a loved one.

The outside world would never recognize the woman I am when I'm alone with you. You've awakened a woman who is free and uninhibited. What would they say if they knew the Senator of Naboo could melt in your embrace and could be rendered speechless by your kiss? Or if they knew she could make a Jedi beg for more?

Sometimes even I'm shocked by some of the things we've done. "That can't be me," I'd say to myself. Such as when we had the brief rendezvous in my speeder, hidden away in one of the industrial districts. I don't think I shall ever forget the look on your face when you reached inside my cloak and found nothing but bare skin. How my heart wouldn't start pounding the whole while from the time I left my apartment until I heard your tapping on the viewport. It was from in part nervousness that somehow my guards and handmaidens would figure out I was naked beneath my cloak. But part of it was from anticipation and desire. I was practically ready for you the moment you peeled back the cloak, leaving me bare to your eye. Then you leapt upon me like a wild beast. It was a wondrous night, wasn't it? The rain was pouring on the speeder, and you're riding me hard in the back seat. I held nothing back and neither did you, my love. We could scream and cry out as loudly as we wanted, months of feelings and desires released.

Perhaps it is because we can't live as husband and wife that we're more like lovers than spouses. One day I want us to be like my parents, growing together as loving companions. But there's a part of me that hopes we never lose the spark of these stolen moments togther. There's something transcendent, almost spiritual about them. You once told me the Force 's presence is even more powerful in those moments. I believe it.

Take care of yourself, my brave Jedi and return home to me soon.

With all of my love,

Padmé


End file.
